Christmas - Driving you crackers

Now if Christmas drives you crackers, sorry, but I just have to share with you these terrible Christmas-cracker jokes.

Q "Where do Geologists go for entertainment?"
A "To a rock concert."

Q “If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make?”
A "Slippers.”

Q “Why did the pilot land his plane on a house?”
A “Because the landing light were on.” Yes "were"

Q “What can you make that cannot be seen?”
A “A noise.”

Q “What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer?”
A “You take me for grunted.”

Q “What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?”
A “A walkie-talkie.”

Q “Which country has a good appetite?”
A “Hungary.”

Q “What does the headless horseman ride?”
A “A Nightmare.”

Q "Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?"
A "He had no body to go with."

Q "What do you call a gigantic polar bear?"
A "Nothin, you just run away."

Q "How did the glow worm feel when someone trod on it?"
A "De-lighted."

Q "What happened to the cannibal lion?"
A "He had to swallow his pride."

Q "What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday?"
A "Fros to a jolly good fellow."

Q "What's the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?"
A "Your teeth."

Q "Did you hear about the cowboy who wore paper trousers?"
A "He was arrested for rustling."

Q "Who is the most famous married woman in America?"
A "Mrs Sippi"

Q "What do you get if you cross a skeleton and a detective?"
A "A sherlock Bones."

Q "Why don't ducks tell jokes when they are flying?"
A "Bdcause they would quack up"

Q " What must you know to be an auctioneer?"
A "lOTS"

Q "What do you get if you cross s stereo with a refrigeratior?"
A "Cool music."

__________

Cormac McCloskey

Note: This blog, "Seasonal Things - Christmas - Driving you crackers", was first published, by me, on 13th December 2005