Coming as I do from a family where, in childhood, the giving and receiving of presents was almost non existent, I have frequently, as an adult, felt uneasy about the idea of present giving. It is not something that I have wanted to feel, but the truth is, that it is not always possible to shake off completely, the negative influences from the past. And what has particularly caused me to feel uncomfortable, is the expectation; the unquestioning view, that at certain times it is the thing to do; a dichotomy thrown into stark relief by the fact that I am married to someone who has the nature of "a giver".
Now in telling you this, I must tell you also, that we did have presents at Christmas. And I must be careful also not to do an injustice to the memory of my mother. For though it was not always apparent as a child, as an adult, I know, that in the fullest sense, she too had the nature of a giver. And if it wasn't always apparent in childhood, that was because, for her, every day was a struggle: for she, and we, lived under the cloud of our father's addictive personality.
For Jenny, in childhood, there was no such uncertainty. From as early as September, she tells me, she used to come out in a rash just thinking about Christmas. And that giving and receiving of presents, that continued beyond Christmas, was something that she came to see as normal, or if you prefer, a natural part of the experience of growing up. But she has paid the price for being married to me, because without putting it too strongly, I have heard her complain that I am a difficult person to buy presents for. What makes it difficult is, that I never need anything, and as a consequence, I never drop hints as to what I might like. But I am mellowing; or should it be learning? which was why, this Christmas past, I let it be known that what I would like - were books.
So tokens apart, I have an assortment of books at my elbow: Two by Barrack Obama, and nine others, either by or about the French philosopher and activist Simone Weil. And I have them in such a large quantity, because I am hoping that she will help me to get to where, I think, I want to go. And with President Obama in mind, I though it might be a good idea also, to read Simon Schama's The American Future. And going back to my roots I have Celtic Myths And Legends, by Peter Beresford Ellis. Apart from the fact that this was a gift from Leo, at a cursory inspection I like it: because of its structure whereby each of the six Celtic regions: Ireland, the Isle of Man, Scotland, Wales, Cornwall and Brittany are given extensive separate treatments. And I like it also because of this reference to my namesake, Cormac: King and poet of Cashel in Tipperary. He died in 908 AD, at the age of 72:
I was a listener in the woods,
I was a gazer at the stars,
I was not blind where secrets were concerned,
I was silent in a wilderness,
I was talkative among many,
I was mild in the mead-hall,
I was stern in battle,
I was gentle towards allies,
I was a physician of the sick,
I was weak towards the feeble,
I was strong towards the powerful,
I was not parsimonious lest I should be burdensome,
I was not arrogant though I was wise,
I was not given to vain promises though I was strong,
I was not unsafe though I was swift,
I did not deride the old though I was young,
I was not boastful though I was a good fighter,
I would not speak about anyone in their absence,
I would not reproach, but I would praise,
I would not ask but I would give.
_____
Now while I appreciate antiquity and I am happy to share this ancient verse with you, the truth is, that I don't like it: for it flies in the face of the only gem of wisdom that I can recall from my mother, who told us whenever appropriate, that: "self praise is no recommendation". And here's something else that I got from my maiden aunt, Kathleen:
Birds in their little nests agree,
it is a shameful sight,
when children of one family,
fall out, and chide, and fight.
_____
Not only is it not true, that "birds in their little nests agree", but the truth is, that the behaviour of some birds is shocking. Having watched a young couple build their house, they move in and claim squatters rights. But just to show that I haven't borne a grudge against aunt Kathleen, for her too simplistic view of life, here is something else that I wrote about her. I have taken it from my poetry website at http://anirishvoice.blogspot.com. a website that my site meter tells me, no one visits:
If you are young and say your prayers
before a statue of the Virgin Mary,
pick it up and peep underneath;
for when I was young, I did,
and found a ten shilling note.
Then curious as a new born lamb
and forgetting my prayers completely
I dashed into the next room
and turning St. Anthony on his side
found another, ten shilling note.
Then in my excitement and in my pyjamas,
and finding no more statues,
I leapt down the stars wild and excited
until hushed and shushed and turned around
I was hurried and scurried up the stairs to bed,
and there, with the door closed,
my old aunt Kathleen told me her secret.
She had a line to Heaven:
to the angels and saints,
to the Virgin and St. Anthony
and she was driving a bargain.
As soon as they had done
(whatever it was)
that she wanted them to do
this money would go to the good causes
that she knew the Virgin and St. Anthony would approve of.
So I fell asleep happy:
knowing that Heaven was a friendly place;
and pleased that I had discovered a grownups secret.
But when I too had grown up, I started to worry.
Why were there two lots of money
and to two different saints
if one saint is as good as another?
And oh dear, was it possible
that my simple old aunt
was not so simple after all
but creating mayhem in Heaven:
setting angels and saints
one against the other
and in the same good cause?
I think not;
which is why I am telling you.
For I am sure,
that when my old aunt Kathleen went to Heaven,
she still had -
some secrets -
of her own -
which, she packed for the journey.
_____
Now returning to Barrack Obama, and hoping that it is true, that: "cometh the hour cometh the man", I have read, Dreams From My Father; and I have almost finished reading The Audacity Of Hope. By any standards, Dreams From My Father is an extraordinary autobiography, that confirmed me in my view that Obama, besides being a man of high intelligence and commitment, is also a man of both physical and moral courage. But I was not at first a fan. Having lived through the assassinations of President John F Kennedy, his brother Robert, and the black Civil Rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King, I had lived through compelling rhetoric, idealism and hope - and disappointment. So on those grounds, I was not especially impressed by the enthusiasm surrounding Obama; and I wanted Hilary Clinton to win. But as time passed I began to notice Obama more, to the point where I found myself asking the question, which would be better for the rounding of America, the election of the first woman president, or alternatively, the election of Barrack Obama as the first black President of the United States Of America? At which point it became self evident that I should be supporting Obama.
Well, here in brief, is a flavour of his writing and experience, taken from, The Audacity Of Hope, a book in which in broad terms, he outlines his political philosophy. The passage is taken from the chapter on Race:
"When I meet people for the first time, they sometimes quote back to me a line in my speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention that seemed to strike a chord. "There is not a black America and white America and Latino America and Asian America - there's the United States of America." For them, it seems to capture a vision of America finally freed from the past of Jim Crow and slavery, Japanese internment camps and Mexican braceros, workplace tensions and cultural conflict - An America that fulfills Dr. King's promise that we be judged not by the colour of our skin but by the content of our character.
In a sense I have no choice but to believe in this vision of America. As the child of a black man and a white woman, someone who was born in the racial melting pot of Hawaii, with a sister who's half Indonesian but who's usually mistaken for Mexican or Porto Rican, and a brother-in-law and niece of Chinese descent, with some blood relatives who resemble Margaret Thatcher and others who could pass for Bernie Mac, so that family get-together's over Christmas take on the appearance of a UN General Assembly meeting. I've never had the option of restricting my loyalties on the basis of race, or measuring my worth on the basis of tribe.
Moreover, I believe that part of America's genius has always been its ability to absorb newcomers, to forge a national identity out of the disparate lot that arrived on our shores. In this we've been aided by a Constitution that - despite being marred by the original sin of slavery - has at its very core the idea of equal citizenship under the law; and an economic system that, more than any other, has offered opportunity to all comers, regardless of status or title or rank. Of course, racism and native sentiments have repeatedly undermined these ideals; the powerful and the privileged have often exploited or stirred prejudice to further their own ends. But in the hands of reformers, from Tubman to Douglas to Chavez to King, these ideals of equality have gradually shaped how we understand ourselves and allowed us to form a multicultural nation the likes of which exists nowhere else on earth.
Finally, those lines in my speech describe the demographic realities of America's future. Already, Texas, California, New Mexico, Hawaii, and the District of Columbia are majority minority. Twelve other states have populations that are more than a third Latino, black, and/or Asian. Latin Americans now number forty two million and are the fastest-growing demographic group, account for almost half of the nation's population growth between 2004 and 2005; the Asian American population, though far smaller, has experienced a similar surge and is expected to increase by more than 200 per cent over the next forty-five years. Shortly after 2050, experts project, America will no longer be a majority white country - with consequences for our economics, our politics, and our culture that we cannot fully anticipate."
As an autobiography, Dreams From My Father on the other hand, is altogether more personal, beginning as it does with a moving tribute his mother. But by the time that I had got half way, I felt compelled to highlight in my notes, the view, that what I was reading, was not a glamorous account of a colourful and ambitious life, but the description of an emotional journey of uncertainty and hard graft, that was sustained by some colourful and moving passages in-between.
Now a phrase that I generally dislike, but which I think can be justifiably applied in this case, is, that: "the eyes of the world" will be on Barrack Obama when he takes the Presidential oath of office on January 20th. And quietly, many of the millions watching, will be fearful for him, because the expectations are enormous, and come at a time of near global economic meltdown. Others, equally quietly, will fear for his life. But having read his books and observed him in action, I will choose to be in the ranks of the believing, for his presence on the world stage, for me, has the feeling of the fulfilment of prophecy. Until recently, no one saw him coming: following in the footsteps of George Bush. And no one knows better than Barrack Obama, the price that has been paid in the past for daring to tread such a path. But Obama knows who he is, and why he is there. And he knows too, that the God in whom he believes, and on whom American president's have so glibly called on in the past, to bless the crowd, and America, (as though high office had given them a hotline to Heaven), belongs to all of us. And he, and we know, that for now, as the 44th President in waiting, he has been judged: "not by the colour of his skin, but by the content of his character".
__________
© Cormac McCloskey
Sources:
Dreams From My Father
Author: Barack Obama
First published in the United States in 1995
Publisher (UK): Canongate Books 2008
ISBN 978 1 84767 094 6
The Audacity Of Hope:
Thoughts On Reclaiming The American Dream
Author: Barack Obama
First published in the United States in 2006
Publisher (UK) Cannongate 2008
ISBN 978 1 84767 083 0
Related:
I Had a Dream: Address given by Dr. Martin Luther King at the Lincoln Memorial, Washingto D.C. on 28 August 1963
http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm
Note: This blog, "I have a dream, that one day . . ." was first published on Windows Live Spaces, by me, on 13th January 2009
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