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On Friday, May 20th, our son Leo married Lynsey, at the Roman Catholic Church of Our Lady and St Walstan, in Old Cotessey. Now however superfluous a thing it might seem to say, it was a wonderful day in every respect, there was no aspect of the day, from morning till night, that was in any sense a disappointment, and that includes the reception, or wedding breakfast and disco at the spectacular venue that is Dunstan Hall.
Beforehand I was unsure as to how emotional I might feel on the day, not just on account of the obvious: it was, after all, our son who was getting married, so you would have had to have a heart of stone not to be moved; and that apart I had specific things to do. I would be reading the second of the two lessons during the wedding service, and I had a speech to give at the wedding breakfast.
Well as I made my way up the steps into the church I had to work hard to keep my emotions in check, for just the sight of the potted Hydrangea's set, as they were, one on each step, was enough to cause me to feel the emotion welling up inside, for this softening of the steps with foliage was Jenny's idea, the first stage in her adorning of the church with flowers.
But now these Hydrangea's had an added and unforeseen poignancy: not only did they represent the months of thought and emotion that she had put into the project, but they spoke also of her friends, those people who, at the eleventh hour. so to speak, came to the rescue.
With just a week to go, and working in an area of the garden that used to be a rockery, Jenny fell and broke her wrist. So with her wrist in a pot, not only was there no prospect of her arranging the flowers, but of collecting them from the wholesaler, and later, transporting them from here to the church. But in the age of the Internet, it wasn't long before the news got about, and I was taking reassuring calls from her friends: whatever needed to be done, they would do, and she must not worry.
Well cutting a long story short, when on the Thursday, (the day before the wedding), she returned from a hospital appointment to the church, she was lost for words: not only were the displays as she would have wanted them to be, but her helpers, (as she had encouraged them to do), had added their own touches. At which point and as a thank you she took them all to lunch.
Now as a mere man, I can't do justice to the fashion that was on display on the day, but what I can say is, that the Deacon, Bill Dimelow, mindful that there were people present of different faiths and none, made a point of extending a welcome to all irrespective of their point of view. And I can tell you, that the coolest man in the Church was Leo, even though his bride kept him waiting for ten minutes. And when the Deacon asked Leo if he was prepared to take Lynsey in marriage as "an equal" Lynsey had the self- possession and confidence to flash him a knowing look that brought laughter from the congregation.
Lynsey's choice of music as she entered the Church was, Pachelbel's Cannon, and the hymns chosen were Morning Has Broken, and Give Me Joy In My Heart. And the first of the readings given by my sister Orla, was from the Gospel of John Ch, 2 verse 1-11. It records the marriage feast at Cana of Galilee, where Jesus, at the prompting of his mother, performed his first miracle: the changing of water into wine:
On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. [2] Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. [3] When the wine gave out the mother of Jesus said to him, "They have no wine." [4] And Jesus said to her, "Woman, what concern is that to you and to me? My hour has not yet come." [5] His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you." [6] Now standing there were six stone water jars for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. [7] Jesus said to them, "Fill the jars with water." And they filled them up to the brim. [8] He said to them, "Now draw some out and take it to the chief steward." So they took it. [9] When the steward tasted water that had become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward called the bridegroom, [10] and said to him, "Everyone serves the good wine first, and the inferior wine after the guests have become drunk. But you have kept the good wine until now." [11] Jesus did this, the first of his signs in Cana of Galilee, and revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.
The second reading, given by me, was taken from Paul's 1st Letter to the Corinthians, Ch, 13 verses 1-13. It is a council of perfection for all of us, and most especially for those such as Leo and Lynsey, who were committing themselves to one another, in marriage, for life.
If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging symbol. [2] And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. [3] If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. [4] Love is patient; love is kind, love is not envious or boastful or arrogant [5] or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; [6] it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. [7] It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
[8] Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end. [9]For we know only in part, and we prophecy only in part; [10] but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. [II] When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. [12] For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. [13] And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.
And as I left the rostrum, there was a brief moment of drama. Forgetting that I was standing on a raised platform, I walked away, only to find that there was nothing underfoot, which caused a momentary stumble and a no less brisk regaining of my posture, and composure.
As a venue, Dunston Hall is spectacular, and as the word Hall suggests, it had a decidedly old world feel to it.
That said, when it came to the wedding breakfast, there was a break with tradition, in that the speeches and toasts to the bride and groom, preceded the meal. When my turn came to speak, and as I was not speaking impromptu, the sight of the papers in my hand generated some mischievous speculation. Only later did I learn that my brother-in-law Jim, had predicted that I would be talking for "45 minutes," but that he had timed me at "12." And while there were many expressions of appreciation for what I had to say, the only words that mattered, were those spoken by Leo. He began by telling us that he had known for a long time that he wanted to marry Lynsey, and that he had often imagined what it would be like on the day, but that nothing that he had imagined came anywhere near the actual experience; and he ended with an expression of gratitutde to Lynsey's parent's, Colin and Linda, "for giving me your beautiful daughter."
Now I always find it something of an odd experience, when we are going to a function and have to decide weeks or months in advance, what it is we would like to eat; and with upwards of a hundred guests, and a choice of menu, in this case, we had to do just that. So I opted for "Trio of melon with fruit salsa and mango sorbet," to be followed by, "Breast of chicken wrapped in pancetta with creamed leeks and oregano," after which I would have "Classic strawberry cheesecake served with vanilla creme chantilly." Well however odd it is, in having to decide what it is you would like to eat at some point in the future, I have to say, as did the other guests, that the food was delicious. As for the alternative choice, it was "Goat's cheese and red onion tartlet with red onion tartlet with rocket and pesto dressing," followed by "Roasted pork belly, creamed cabbage and bacon, calvadus and thyme jus", and lastly, "Lemon tart with raspberry coulis.
Unusually for me, and though I carried my camera everywhere, I took very few pictures; but the first of these, is one of them.
Now I don't know why it is, that on these big occasions, it comes as a surprise to my relatives, and some close friends, that I can dance. One of my sisters, complimenting me on my dancing at the wedding disco, asked, where I learned to do it. So in my sixty-ninth year it is nice to know that I can still confound those who, not unreasonably, would claim to know me.
Though not a regular smoker, in anticipation of the wedding, I purchased a dozen cigars, only to discover a few days later, that Leo had been of a like mind. He had 3 cigars, one for each of us, that is for himself, myself, and the best man, to be smoked on the night before the wedding. And three (Wedding Day Cigars), that we would smoke on the patio after the wedding breakfast. Well whatever surplus energy we might have had, it went in to puffing on these Wedding Day Cigars, for such was the quality, and effort required to smoke them, that one wag was prompted to quip, that what was needed was a bonfire to get them going, and a bonfire to keep them lit.
And now that the great day is past, several people have asked if we have been left with a feeling of anti-climax, to which our answer has been "no". On the contrary, we have a great feeling of peace and contentment, knowing that the day was everything the Leo and Lynsey had hoped and planned for; and in being witnesses to the very obvious love that they have for one another; a joy, that in giving themselves to one another in marriage, they wanted to share, with as many people as possible.
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© Cormac McCloskey
Pachbelbel's Cannon - here
Bible Readings taken fromn
Catholic Edition of the Holy Bible
NRSV (1993)
Published by Catholic Bible Press / Thomas Nelson, Inc.
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